Stories: the only
thing we’ve got, the arbiters of this human process of rocketing between hope
and despair, and it’s why every person’s is vitally important. It’s why it
doesn’t matter if you’re a mess, or put together, or even a success according
to arbitrary standards; what matters is that you are conscious of the world
around you, in all of its terrible beauty.
[…]
The world can be
a horrible place at times, but we don’t have to participate in this, we don’t
have to harden our hearts as we’re taught and told to do, in order to survive
or be sexy or attractive lovers or perfect parents or interesting people. We do
not have to make ourselves into mysterious gifts, waiting to be chosen or read
or understood by those who will earn us, unwrap our secrets, and then what? We
can be something more authentic, and speak from a different place, a different
planet. This is why I like being a writer, because what it demands is both
simple and incredibly hard. To be a human being. Does anyone even know what
that means anymore? Why don’t we allow for mess? Why are we so afraid of it?
What do we expect from the veils we pull down over our eyes, our minds, our
hearts? How can we possibly connect if we never let people see what we truly
are and what it would take to make us free? Now, when I can’t fake a single
emotion I don’t feel (or at least not for long), I wonder how I’ve lived this
long being any other way. Maybe it’s that I haven’t really been living, and
that now I am like Adam, like Eve, my feet still wet from being newly created,
awkwardly learning how to walk on dry land.
[…]
What does it mean
to be human, at this time, in this country? I believe it means practicing a
radical generosity and empathy, especially when it’s a struggle. You must look
around in the soft darkness of your waking life, which is the partner of your
dream life. You must understand that accompanying you always is your animal,
primal, complicated, desire-driven, calm but desperate, brutal and brilliant
self, blinking and breathing gently in the dark, waiting for you to let it into
the light.
