Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The booted cat


Last Sunday I met a girl who said she really wanted to have a dog, but since she could not have a dog because she lives in a flat, she got a cat instead. Only, she is allergic to cats so she has now to take antihistamines every day to live with the feline.

Last Thursday I went out with a guy who said I judge people quickly because I said I could picture the kind of man who would wear a particular kind of boots. 

Now, I have a mind and it happens that I enjoy using it (though it seems a curse, sometimes, but that´s another story) and I find it utterly illogical -to use a euphemism- to ingest pills in order to own a pet that my body clearly rejects. Maybe I should add that I have a passion for cats and that I utterly loved horseback riding until I had to give it up after developping an allergy to horses. 

What I don´t get is how having an opinion on a pair of boots makes me a censorious moralizer. 
Wanna pet a cat while sneezing and wearing python glittery men boots? 
Please, go ahead!

Friday, September 7, 2012

give us today our daily bread

Stoned by the scent of banana and walnuts, I realized that I am neglecting my blog.
It´s just that my creativity is momentarily taking other forms.




Only temporary, obviously: I have been thinking about happiness, lately.
That´s what´s in the air.
...bis bald

Monday, August 20, 2012

Campodistelle


 
111 km. By car a trifle. On foot an experience.
I knew - I felt - it was going to be an adventure which would reward me of every bit of physical endeavour, I only ignored how. Now I know. 

The prize is a lightness of the heart, many, many, many sweet memories, a kick of self-confidence and a few dried-out blisters I show off with pride.

The pleasure is singing Bob Dylan aloud to the clouds of a Spanish sky with no one around, smiling your biggest smile, because, finally, you know that everything is ok.   

The enrichment is two amazing women and two great men who made me laugh to tears and believe again in the easiness of encounter and the pleasure of sharing, even if it´s only a few steps and a few days. Or a tight, infinite hug in a cathedral.  

The lesson is that happiness is within yourself, when you do what makes you happy, when you open up to the others, when you trust yourself to walk on a common ground, when you build a common ground, when you remind yourself that there is no point in fearing or eschewing the others because they have the same fears, the same hurt, the same uncertainties as you.

The value is humanity, beauty, nature, mysticism and inspiration. All for us. 



 










 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

lil´red fruit on tour






The lil´red fruit leaves the busy world to dive into wild nature, a bundle of trails and gorgeous positive thoughts.

We restlessly run around struggling to achieve goals and figure things out but (before even putting my backpack on) something tells me that the true, profound meaning of it all is to be found in a blade of grass.


Monday, August 6, 2012

Talkin´ bout a revolution

A blogger whom I particularly like and whose reflections I find enthralling some time ago posted provocative suggestions on how to speed up the destruction process of our planet, considering that we are already doing a lot to reach that goal, but not yet enough. Among the mocking proposals were things like “buy the cheapest food at discount supermarkets” or “destroy all bicycles and travel only by car” or “buy your garments only at chain stores” or “get your electricity supply from providers which use nuclear power”.

Given that, though knowing him very little, I am utterly fascinated by the man´s ideas, that I enjoyed his post -both in content and style- and that I intimately agree with his irreverent tease, I cannot help but hearing a rational voice asking questions in return to his legitimate instigation.

I do strongly believe in the possibility of “saving our world” (hideous phrase) in the pivotal role of critical thinking and in the importance of individual responsibility. It´s not by coincidence that I am vegetarian, I don´t own a car, in the office I am known as the “eco-chick” and my upcoming vacation is going to see me hiking on a Spanish trail. 
But. 
There are several buts.

Firstly I don´t like that if you seem to "care for the future of the planet" you are demanded to fit into the eco-hippy box. That you are supposed to have a certain style, use - with NO exception – only organic products, even if some of them are objectively terrible, do certain sports but not others, like some kind of music, and – no doubt- claim that you unconditionally love Mother Earth. Unless, of course, you want to be frowned upon. 

Let´s assume that this is just my personal feeling, ok: no compelled organic-shapeless-clothing, I can play posh-tennis and can be disgusted by rats, right. Thanks.

What I don´t find a mere personal impression, however, is this diffused occasional simplistic way of analyzing problems. Like: oh yes, we all should consume less and recycle everything and eat only organic food  and grow our own tomatoes and sew our own clothes and ride our bikes everywhere. Yeah, ok, you got me: I am eager to grow my food and bike to work and recycle things and I am sick and tired of consumerism. But is it all really that easy, like “we” ecologically, responsible, smartasses understand it all and all others are only lazy, ignorant, unhealthy, irresponsible jackasses?! The league of lazy, ignorant, unhealthy, irresponsible jackasses is quite nurtured, yes, we all know that, but let´s just be a little more objective and sophisticated, please. 

Though it´s true that we are all manipulated by the relentless induced desires of buying things that neither we need nor actually make us happy and that if we all started to control our material desires just a little, we would probably have more resources to invest elsewhere, it is also true that there are many people who cannot afford to buy organic food at co-op stores. They don´t have time to go to the farmer to buy the freshly-layed eggs of a happy, happy hen. Caught into the system, many don´t have the privilege of knowing how to step out of it. Or maybe they know how to, but really cannot.

Moreover, if, for instance, we suddenly all stopped using cars, we would surely enjoy our cities more, we would have purer air to breathe and be less stressed. But how many people would suddenly lose their jobs? How many fathers unemployed and probably desperately worried of not being able to nurture their children?
If we all started baking our bread and became vegan (yay!) how many bakeries and animal farmers and factories would close down? If we all stated to buy our T-shirts at American Apparel and boycott the big chains (spoiler: the next sentence is really terrible) are we sure that the situation of the children or women working in poor conditions in India or Pakistan would suddenly automatically improve? Would it be better for them not to have that crappy job at all? 

Sometimes, meaning well yet not going deep enough, may even cause additional problems to the ones we are genuinely trying to solve. Do we, ecologically, responsible, smartasses think about this? Do we consider all the variables of a problem or only some of them? The ones that smooth our conscience easily, maybe?

The fact is that daydreaming about a better world is a much easier matter than actually struggle to find a way to get out of this destructive hamster-wheel. Don´t get me wrong: I utterly respect each and every tiny individual effort to make a difference. I am one of you: I stubbornly believe that somehow my pathetic recycling the back of printed paper in the office is a significant drop into the ocean. Yet, I am also very aware that critical thinking, individual responsibility and the belief that we can save the planet have to come to terms with reality.

We have to acknowledge that, as unhealthy, corrupt, self-destroying and disgustingly absurd our current system is, we cannot just jump off at the next bus stop.
In order to keep a sort of balance for “all” (a ridiculous “all”, since we westerners always speak from an egocentric, conceited blind viewpoint) the change is going to take an incredible amount of time, effort and sacrifice. 

I might have sounded like an inspiration-killer so far, sorry. Yet, I can tell you that, with eyes wide open, I myself lull into the words of one of my favorite authors, a truly extraordinary man, who - after really seeing it all - came to the conclusion that the only possible revolution is the one within ourselves.

So, fellow eco-conceited-wannabe-smartasses, let´s keep working!  



Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Ego Trip to Raspberryland


There are some blogs that I follow -very few, actually- and they definitely have more the character I would like to give to my own blog:  it´s mostly thoughts of people with some brain who discuss over interesting matters in a quite objective or impersonal, almost “universal” way, maybe taking off from something they read in the paper that inspired their gray mass. Or a word whose meaning they investigate. Or the sentence of an author that strikes them and which they use to dive into some complex and deep thoughts. 
  
Sometimes I wish my blog went more in that direction, yet I feel it cannot; and maybe even should not. Yet. I might be too egotistic, self-absorbed, or maybe only just too “teenagerly”, but I don´t manage - don´t want? - to write things in a universal, nearly-objective way. Since what moves me to write is something that hit my personal buttons and tickled my chords, it unavoidably talks about me. Even when it does not. Even if I try to hide myself so much that I write under a fruity pseudonym, I live in Raspberryland and I apparently earn my living by getting ripe. It might have to do with my perpetual ego-stagger, yes, but it´s ok, it´s fine, it´s beautiful this way. 

Sometimes I struggle with my blog not being the self-confident-realname-universal-objective-cool-trendy-gipsy-modern-sexy blog that I could make it be, but eventually you have to go look for the truth within yourself; my truth is this one, and I don´t want it to be any other way. If I can´t separate me, what I am, think and feel, from what I do - being it managing some small talk with a superficial client, playing tennis or writing my new-born-journal-like blog -  it means that I will write my new-born-journal-like blog with the wholeness of myself and truth that lies within. And I think that this is ultimately why I have a devotion (together with three-zillion other people) for Cheryl Strayed and her unabashed, fearless, disarmingly honest way of writing being just herself. Each and every of her fiber in each and every of her word.
If you think about it, there´s nothing more univesal than that. 







Monday, July 30, 2012

So this is how it works





So this is how it works. You start breathing again when suddenly you get the feeling that you are not alone with your thoughts, that even if you have the wrong job or maybe the wrong non-friends, the wrong environment and you were starting to believe that after all lots of people live the same ´wrongness´ so maybe you should get used to that, there are other people, hidden behind well-known faces, who are not as unresolved as you thought but just powerfully themselves. People with ideas, and with loads of words and with smiles and an incredible lust for life. It is such an exciting discovery that you start loading up like a rechargeable battery which has finally found the recharging dock. 

You start breathing again when you feel that the somehow hackneyed motto that we all should do more what we love and less what we think we should do is not necessarily a trendy empty slogan because there are people who do that, and they are normal: they have families and responsibilities and apartments to clean and jobs to pay the bills but, still, they unabashedly go their way. This sighting is at the same time thrilling and destabilizing, because, like in Lucio Fontana´s works, it rips the canvass and then you are forced to look beyond the slit. 




That´s when, instead of just blissfully breathing, you start panting a little, because you realize that what you have to do now is learn to just shut your mouth up when all you are capable of saying is how you are sure that you are being screwed and how this is not how you want life to treat you. And, instead of handing out invites to your pity-party, you start to really enjoy the moment. Even the silly, apparently meaningless, surely somehow wrong moments. Above all them. Because maybe, just maybe, these silly, apparently meaningless and surely somehow wrong moments when you are being screwed by life or by a beautiful semi-stranger are the ones which teach you something you finally need to learn. 

Like maybe to be less worried and more alive and enthusiastic.

And thereby relish the greatness of endless possibilities. Or just the greatness of life.

This is ultimately what freedom is, right? 



Sunday, July 29, 2012

Monday, July 23, 2012

weird is in the air



Strange things are happening lately. 
Though at my perceived worst state of appearance, I assume I am unconsciously (and surely quite unwillingly) spreading misleading messages through the air. Otherwise I have no explanation of why so many men recently seem to believe that they are welcome to join me into my pants or at least to try. Or to address me like a professional hooker.
In 4 weeks I experienced:

- A 27 years old blond shallow yet somehow funny boy with whom I went out for a drink once who sent me at 3:30 am on a Friday night an email reading “Hi, what´s up? Want to come over?”. I presume he wanted to show me his stamps collection, at 3:30 am. *Not answered*.

- A 40-something years old, chain smoker, not particularly attractive but surely not stupid French man who, during an actually quite interesting yet not very original conversation about men/women managed to let me know that for him, an ideal week-end with a woman does not imply leaving the abode. “Oh, interesting. I have to go to the toilet; would you excuse me?”

- A 30ish very handsome Kneanu Reeves type who walks to me while I am leaving the subway station after a dog day at work saying how he noticed me in the train and if I have a boyfriend, no?, oh, then maybe we can hang out, maybe you are like me, an open minded person, someone who likes to have fun, you know what I mean. Yes, I know what you mean, and no, in this case I am not open minded, no. Oh, so you look for a relationship? Yes, I do. Oh, so you are conservative? (wait, wait…since when not screwing the first stranger who hits on you in a subway station equates being conservative?! I mean, I am very progressive but not a slut…please, please tell me that there is still a formal and substantial difference!). “Sorry, ´twas nice meeting you, I have to go”. 

- My 36 years old historic ex boyfriend of so many years who roughly got out of my life after meeting his new girl (fine) and who has not talked to me for exactly 2 years (not quite fine). Mr. Elegance, successful and appreciated attorney, decides to break the silence and get back in contact with me writing an email asking if maybe I could send him some sexy pictures of me, not necessarily nudes, maybe wearing sandals or nice lingerie, it´s ok if my face is covered.  And since I am so into charity projects, he would be happy to donate 50 bucks pro picture to any organization of my choice. “Ih Ih, how funny, oh, yeah and fuck off, ex-boyfriend. There is always a reason for that ex-”.

Now,

seriuously...

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS ?!  GET SOBER!