So this is how it works

This is how it works / You're young until you're not / You love until you don't
You try until you can't / You laugh until you cry / You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe / Until their dyin' breath

No, this is how it works / You peer inside yourself / You take the things you like
Then try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made / And stick it into some / Someone else's heart
Pumpin' someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm / You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does / You'll just do it all again

(ReginaSpektor)

So this is how it works. You start breathing again when suddenly you get the feeling that you are not alone with your thoughts, that even if you have the wrong job or maybe the wrong non-friends, the wrong environment and you were starting to believe that after all lots of people live the same ´wrongness´ so maybe you should get used to that, there are other people, hidden behind well-known faces, who are not as unresolved as you thought but just powerfully themselves. People with ideas, and with loads of words and with smiles and an incredible lust for life. It is such an exciting discovery that you start loading up like a rechargeable battery which has finally found the recharging dock. 

You start breathing again when you feel that the somehow hackneyed motto that we all should do more what we love and less what we think we should do is not necessarily a trendy empty slogan because there are people who do that, and they are normal: they have families and responsibilities and apartments to clean and jobs to pay the bills but, still, they unabashedly go their way. This sighting is at the same time thrilling and destabilizing, because, like in Lucio Fontana´s works, it rips the canvass and then you are forced to look beyond the slit. 

That´s when, instead of just blissfully breathing, you start panting a little, because you realize that what you have to do now is learn to just shut your mouth up when all you are capable of saying is how you are sure that you are being screwed and how this is not how you want life to treat you. And, instead of handing out invites to your pity-party, you start to really enjoy the moment. Even the silly, apparently meaningless, surely somehow wrong moments. Above all them. Because maybe, just maybe, these silly, apparently meaningless and surely somehow wrong moments when you are being screwed by life or by a beautiful semi-stranger are the ones which teach you something you finally need to learn. 

Like maybe to be less worried and more alive and enthusiastic.

And thereby relish the greatness of endless possibilities. Or just the greatness of life.

This is ultimately what freedom is, right?